Can Therapy Help Me?

"Counseling is a professional relationship that empowers diverse individuals, families, and groups to accomplish mental health, wellness, education, and career goals." - The American Counseling Association

If you are on this site, you may be wondering if therapy can help you, your child or other loved one, or your family through a difficult transition. Going through a struggle or crisis is painful enough without opening yourself up to a complete stranger! So, before you take that step of calling or walking into an office, let's look at some of the benefits of therapy.

A qualified counselor:

- will have a neutral, objective, outside perspective because he/she is not personally (emotionally) involved in your current situation.
- can help you identify "blind spots" or defense mechanisms that prevent you from seeing potential solutions.
- has the education and experience of helping others deal with similar issues and can confidently and lovingly challenge you to move into a better space, personally and relationally.
- will be a non-judgmental, encouraging support for you and/or your family, and will join you in your healing journey.
- will have the knowledge and insight into issues and can help you explore options and potential outcomes while helping you uncover hidden strengths.
- can assist you in making healthier choices that lead you on the path of peace, confidence, clarity and healing.

Some benefits of counseling can be:
- Increased peace
- Increased understanding of own self-worth
- Increased ability to set appropriate boundaries
- Greater confidence
- Better relationships
- Awareness / Insight
- Ability to manage stress
- Increased inter-relatedness and intimacy
- Reduced fear and/or anxiety
- Decrease in depressive symptoms
- Resolution of trauma or grief
- Reduced / processed anger
- Ability to assertively express needs and wants
- Desire to pursue goals
- Increased hope for the future

Adapted from the American Psychological Association and professional experience.

If you would like more information on the counseling process or would like to schedule a consultation, please call.

Mental Health Apps

These apps have proven helpful to some people. However, they do not replace mental health treatment, counseling or therapy. Use your judgement, personal preference and / or recommendations of your doctor or therapist to make healthy decisions in what you use.

Calm
meditate, sleep, and relax
Moodfit
fitness for your mental health
MoodMission
improving your mood
Happify
break old patterns; form new habits
Depression CBT
control stress that leads to depression
Gottman Couples App
Research-based approach to relationships
Sanvello
improve your mental health

Signs of Trauma & Attachment Wounding

Trauma - attachment wounding in and of itself is not a specific diagnosable mental health disorder, although some have referred to it as complex-PTSD.

Symptoms may show up in categories of criteria as in the above-mentioned diagnoses, and/or are played out in daily life in a variety of ways, including:

in adults....
- co-dependency
- difficulty sustaining healthy relationships
- attracting unhealthy (toxic) people
- lacking healthy interpersonal boundaries
- feeling numb, lost or dead inside
- difficulty regulating emotions or returning to 'normal' after an upset
- social isolation (voluntary or not)
- feeling panicked or triggered, sometimes for unknown reasons
- getting angry / feeling rage, sometimes for unknown reasons
- lacking a sense of internal solidarity and purpose in life
- lacking a sense of peace and joy
- substance use
- promiscuity or other impulsive behaviors
- fear of commitment, fear of abandonment, or a mix of both
- inability to enjoy the present moment or feel comfortable in your own skin
- trying to "get over it," mask or avoid feelings
- dislike of or hatred toward self

in children or adolescents....
- lack of attention span
- defiance toward authority
- increased emotional or social sensitivity
- conflict with or aggression toward peers or siblings
- trouble at school
- difficulty making or keeping friends
- excessive worry / feeling overwhelmed
- fear about the future
- panic attacks
- withdrawal and defiance
- tantrums
- trouble with sleep / nightmares
- feelings of inadequacy and/or trying to please
- clingy or overly attached to strangers (indiscriminate affection)
- self-harm
- substance use
- other behaviors that are not developmentally or culturally appropriate

There has been talk in the psychology world to develop a diagnosis for long-term emotional wounding. One such suggestion is Developmental Trauma Disorder (DTD). But, the wheels of change turn slow. Don't wait for the APA to validate what you experience. If you can relate to this topic, please call for a free consultation.

What is Attachment Trauma?
How Do Attachment Wounds Occur?
What Are the Signs of Attachment Trauma?
Does Therapy Work for Attachment Trauma?

If you are an adult who survived childhood or a parent of a child who has faced any type of attachment trauma, please call for a free consultation.

Can Therapy Help My Child?

We all face life challenges in one form or another: divorce, loss of a loved one, or geographical move. Sometimes switching grade levels or developmental growth can cause upset. Even the most well-adjusted child or family can benefit from some help through these life struggles. Various forms of age-appropriate therapies are available to assist your family in addressing child, teen and family concerns.

Below is a list of some common indicators that a child or teen may benefit from counseling:

- Appearing sad, shy, withdrawn, disengaged, fatigued or worried
- Lack of interest in activities once enjoyed
- Tantrums, crying, emotions out of proportion with situation
- Thoughts, talk or acts of self harm
- Lack of compliance and/or aggression with authority
- Getting in trouble at school
- Drop in grades
- Weight loss or gain; appetite changes
- Sleep changes, nightmares
- Urine or fecal accidents
- Negative self-talk
- Aggression with peers (hitting, pushing, yelling, biting)
- Difficulty moving from one task to the next
- Feeling sick often
- Trouble making friends (social isolation, lack of social skills, bullying)
- Neighborhood or community violence or disaster
- Substance use
- Parenting concerns (parent mental health or substance use issues, parenting skills)
- Home issues or transitions (new sibling, parental divorce, move to new home, homelessness)
- Grief and Loss issues (foster care, absent parent, death of loved one)

If you would like more information on the counseling process or would like to schedule a consultation, please call.

The Cycle of Violence

WARNING: Some abusers check browser history. Clear yours for safety.
Domestic Violence
The Cycle of Violence From The Battered Woman by Lenore Walker, 1979.
Please note the terms "batterer" and "victim" are not used to pathologize, criticize or blame individuals. Please note, marital counseling is NOT helpful (and sometimes not safe) for domestic violence relationships.
Phase One: Tension Building
- Batterer becomes more agitated and angry.
- Victim is compliant; tries to placate Batterer.
- Victim minimizes problems and denies anger.
- Batterer takes more control.
- Victim withdraws to avoid setting Batterer off.
- Tension becomes unbearable.
Phase Two: Acute Battering
- Severe battering or verbal abuse takes place.
- Batterer unpredictable; claims loss of control.
- Victim is helpless and feels trapped.
- Batterer is highly abusive.
- Victim is traumatized.
- This phase is shorter than Phase One.
Phase Three: The Honeymoon
- Batterer is apologetic, remorseful, loving and kind.
- Batterer makes promises (to get help, quit drinking, etc.).
- Victim wants to believe Batterer and feels responsible.
- Victim is least likely to flee in this phase.
Cycle Repeats with Increased Intensity
Life On Their Terms
Is My Partner Abusive?
The Cycle of Violence
Dangers of Staying
Healing From an Abusive Relationship

Online Support, Information and Resources
The 12 Step Cyber Café offers excellent online help in recovering from unhealthy relationships.
http://www.12steps.com/
National Domestic Violence Hotline site offers a wealth of information on domestic violence and getting help.
http://www.ndvh.org/

Daily Journal

Journaling our thoughts and feelings can have a positive impact on our overall mood and mentality. Likewise, journaling about our habits, cravings, food intake and activity level can help with improving our overall healthy lifestyle.

Suggested questions for your daily craving and habit journal:
Why am I doing this behavior?
What need am I trying to fulfill?
When did I first have this need?
Is this habit or behavior congruent with my personal values?
What feelings am I experiencing and why?
Who or what does this remind me of?
Is this feeling or behavior something that I could question or reevaluate?
Am I willing to allow myself to hold onto this belief, habit or feeling now that I know more?
What action can I take right now to change this?

Work on your lifestyle / fitness goals

What is a Treatment Plan and Why Is One Necessary?

You go to the counselor to talk about your child’s interesting behavior, and he/she wants you to sign a “treatment plan.” This term may sound a bit off-putting, and may be confusing if it hasn’t yet been explained properly.
The What
A tx plan is the “why are you here and what are we doing” of therapy. It is a document that includes presenting problems, goals related to addressing those problems, and interventions that will be implemented reach those goals. It’s a road map to help guide therapy sessions so that they are more effective in helping you do whatever it is you want to do in therapy. It’s a way for you and your therapist to stay on track and watch for progress.

While you may state your goals for therapy as “just feel better,” “stop being so anxious,” or even, “I don’t really know,” your therapist will (or should) help you identify the reason for seeking service and create measurable, sometimes behaviorally-based benchmarks to identify progress- or lack thereof.

For example, an identified problem may look like this: “Cl presents with anger outbursts and inability to control impulses at home and school.”
This will often be followed by severity and intensity indicators such as “as evidenced by yelling, throwing self on floor and kicking legs around 3X per day for 30-45 minutes.”

A goal, or “measurable objective” may be something like, “Cl and/or family will identify and process 3-5 coping skills to assist cl in managing strong emotions,” or “Cl and/or family will identify triggers to outbursts in 3 out of 5 situations,” or any variation applicable to family and circumstance.

While this all sounds medical-ish, tx plans are not meant to pathologize or sterilize the therapeutic relationship. The actual sessions can still be warm, fuzzy, supportive and compassionate. You won’t even have to worry about the technical jargon- it’s only used with these sorts of required clinical documents that allow your therapist to meet ethical, legal and other requirements.

And the Why
Which brings us to the “why” of tx plans… to sum it up, mostly for insurance billing. Insurance companies want to know that services rendered are for cause, or meet “medical necessity” (this is why we also have to diagnose, but that’s another story altogether).

In therapy, just like in medical practice, providers must perform services that are necessary and appropriate for the client. You don’t go to your doctor for an ear infection and get a cast put on your leg. It’s the same with the mental health profession- law, ethics and money demand accountability.
Tx plans can be updated whenever issues, needs, or goals change, but must be updated every 6 months to one year, depending on where you live and what insurance company you use.

Tx plans don’t limit services. You can have a few in-progress issues at the same time, complete all of your stated goals, and then get a new treatment plan based on new issues that have popped up- either by therapeutic insight or life, in general.

Things you should know about your treatment plan:
1) It’s a GPS of emotional-relational sorts.
2) You should be a collaborative part of its creation.
3) You can ask to have things changed on it before you agree to sign.
4) You are allowed to ask questions about it and about therapeutic progress. 4) It can and should be updated regularly.